Puzzle Pieces, The Five Minute Journal & The 90 Second Rule.
As I watch myself growing older partnered with the enormous life shattering experiences I’ve had to this point, I find myself in a place where things seem to be speeding up. I don’t mean time necessarily ~ although that too has been quickening since I had kids. Maybe I only now notice how precious time is because of them ~ but once I gave space to clarity and started to remove things that got in the way of joy, the pieces of my puzzle began to fall into place much more quickly than before.
A few pieces that have come to me that ring loudly and bring this clarity are these words…
- Say yes more
- Resist nothing
- Unconditional acceptance & love
These words have helped to crystallize my thoughts and have allowed me to let go of all else that does not fit.
Once I realized my resistance to something brought more of it, my resistance to a moment brought frustration & resentment and that I control nothing but my reaction to moments, my life became much more joyous. I gave myself permission to let go of being angry or feeling frustrated. I gave myself permission to slow down and really enjoy time with my family. I mean really, really… with fresh eyes and an open heart every minute.
My daughter and I have been watching videos of her from when she was a younger. I was taken back by how absolutely wondrous she was (and still is) although I wondered… did I appreciate her incredible magic during those times? I’m sure I did although I know I was living in the past and the future a lot of the time and that got in my way. I know I enjoyed every step of her journey, every change in her as she has grown but while watching these videos I saw her more clearly. I saw her through eyes without filters called tired, hungry, late…
So this is my focus now… with my family, friends and myself. To live in the present without attachment to the moment, emotion or expectation. Joy in the moment. Breathing in the moment. Not looking to the what ifs, maybes or when’s. It’s easier said than done I know although once I released my old mindset life became so much easier, joyful. I began to trust I was being cared for by the moment.
Tools to help stay in the moment.
The Five Minute Journal by Intelligent Change Inc. is a fantastic tool for those like moi who don’t have much time in the day to write at length about their inner goings-on. While I would love to have the discipline to wake an hour earlier in the morning, make a hot cup of tea and write pages upon pages of unconscious writing I simply do not. Our second has yet to sleep through the night and I’m going on over 6 years of zero nights of uninterrupted sleep. Have I mentioned how much I’ve aged the last few years? Thanks lack of sleep. So the Five Minute Journal is an amazing idea… simply put you take 5 minutes of your day and write answers to questions in the morning and evening about how you see your day going, how it went and what you could have done differently. It simplifies and brings your thoughts to the core of where you are. It can certainly help to bring focus to your day, relationships and goals.
The “90 second rule” is something I came across while listening to Pam Laricchia’s Exploring Unschooling podcast ~ Episode 7 Diving Into Parenting With Anna Brown. It stopped me in my tracks. The concept Anna said was taken from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s book My Stroke of Insight. When you react to a situation, maybe you’re frustrated or angry with someone for something they said to you, your body is flooded with emotions and chemicals are released. After 90 seconds your body has processed these chemicals and you are now choosing to remain in this emotional state. You are actually able to after those 90 seconds choose to not be frustrated or angry. You can flip the switch. Hearing this caused a huge shift in my mind. After listening to this discussion when I found myself in a negative space I would reflect on the fact that it was past 90 seconds and my staying in that state was now my choice. I was choosing to stay there and I could flip it like a dime. And so I did and do. It will take time to unlearn the habit of staying in an emotion but it’s worth the time and effort.
If any of these finds speak to you I hope you explore them further. Drop me a line if they resonate with you!